Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse

It wasn’t until the 1970s that, as a society, we began to really look at the problem of sexual abuse. Mental health providers began to scramble, looking for effective ways to help adult survivors of child sexual abuse. Thankfully, a few decades later, and with a lot of practice and research behind us, we know more about the healing process of adult survivors of sexual abuse than ever before.

Many adult survivors manage things by working hard to “forget” or not think about the abuse. Sometimes survivors find great success as they work non-stop, often caring for others in some way. Unfortunately, some adult survivors avoid working through their traumas by hurting themselves with drugs and alcohol, excessive exercise, unhealthy relationships with food, or harming themselves in other ways. These means of coping help the survivor to avoid the pain of past memories of abuse. Either way, after awhile these coping techniques often stop working, which is when many adult survivors turn to the support of others.

Tips on how to participate in your own healing
Talk to someone and tell your story!
How to support an adult survivor 

Remember, you have already been through the worst of times — the actual experience. As you begin to allow yourself to rethink about what happened to you and let go of feeling like “damaged goods,” you will move closer to leading your own best life.

• Make it a priority to take care of you
• Take time out to do things that you enjoy
• Learn a new hobby
• Spend time with friends
• Find a support group
• Get outside
• Plant a garden

Talk to someone and tell your story!

• Look for a therapist that has experience working with survivors of sexual abuse/violence. Sometimes the story of sexual abuse can feel overwhelming to both you and others. Call MOCSA for an appointment or for a referral.
• It’s OK, and in fact important, to move slowly. Remember, you have been living with this difficult story for years, there are no quick fixes! Pace yourself and share with someone who will encourage and support you.
• Ask your therapist to provide you with assignments to work on between sessions.

Often, survivors of sexual abuse grow up feeling very isolated and vulnerable, a feeling that may continue into their adult lives. Sexual abuse may have influenced all parts of a survivor's life, including communication style, self-confidence, and trust levels. Adult survivors may appear to be strong and have dealt with the past abuse, however, they may be falling apart inside. Sometimes others get impatient with survivors for not “getting past it” sooner. Remember, adult survivors sometimes are feeling overwhelmed, and need your patience and support. Healing takes time. There may be changes in your relationship with a survivor as they heal.